Monday, October 18, 2010


of knowing I have done everything I can in this situation.

of knowing the He loves me for me.

of knowing that He will fight for me, I don't always have to take up for myself.

of knowing who I am and who I am not.

of knowing where I am going.

in the Word that God has given me.

of believing that I am forgiven and I can stop repenting for the same sin.

We become servants to whoevers approval we are trying to get. The only approval I need to seek is from God.

So, some of you may or may not know this. Right now I am doing a Beth Moore Bible Study, Breaking Free. I look forward to this time every week and EVERY WEEK God has spoken TO ME directly thru this study. Honestly before I started this study I was completely blind to the bondage I have been experiencing in my life. Since I began this study I have experienced many not so pleasant situations. I kept asking God - WHY?? WHY am I feeling this way?? WHY is this happening?? Sept/October has been extremely stressful for me. As soon as one situation was getting better, another situation would arise. And I don't just mean little things... they were things that are a really big deal to me. During my study tonight I just wanted to cry. I mean, if I was sitting there by myself I would have prob just screamed out. I KNEW that God was speaking to me. I have been praying and praying to not let things bother me so much and to give it all to God. And for some reason it was still lingering in my mind and hurt. Literally I was hurting - like someone had taken a knife and stabbed it thru my heart. I type this... I truly feel like a different person. Like the weight of it all is being lifted. It is still there... a teeny tiny part... but I know that with God's help this hurt will be removed from my heart. NOW THAT MY FRIENDS IS WHERE MY REST COMES IN...

I have always been the type person to want to make everyone happy. I can't stand tension. I seek approval from several people in my life and strive to make them think good of me. I say YES sometimes when I am really thinking - No, I don't have time. Some might call me out on this because I know I have not always made everyone happy. And I am positive I have created lots of tension in my life. But... deep down I just want everyone to be happy. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EXHAUSTING THAT HAS BEEN FOR ME??

I need to REST.

I still want others to be happy but I need to get my priorities straight. I will serve the Lord with everything that I have. I will continually seek God and only God's approval. God has invited me to rest in Him and I have accepted. And it feels GREAT!

"Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads. I will give you rest. Accept my work and learn from me. I am gentle and humble in spirit. And you will find rest for your souls. The work that I ask you to accept is easy. The load I give you to carry is not heavy." Matthew 11:28-30

1 comment:

Lana said...

Wonderful post Nikki.